American writer Stephen R. Covey claims that only a small part of the events in our lives depend on the circumstances. For him, it is we who decide what will happen to us. He named this idea ‘The 90/10 principle’. To explain, he uses a very simple example.
What is the 9/10 principle?
What happens is that we can never control 10% of the things that happen in our lives. We cannot prevent a cell phone from breaking, driving our flight schedule, or controlling the red of a traffic light. But we can control our reaction to these events.
The other 90% is the result of our reactions. The result of how we behave in a time of stress that we cannot control.
You are having breakfast with your family. Her daughter accidentally spills coffee on her shirt. You immediately stand up and yell at her, saying that she is a fool. You get mad at your wife because she put the cup in that place. She runs to the bedroom to change clothes and, when she returns, she sees her daughter crying. She hasn’t even finished breakfast or prepared her backpack for school.